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Monday, January 23, 2006

Trip to Kashyyyk part 2: Obi-wanted Kenobi

Oh, yes, i forgot to tell you what else happened on my homeplanet during that trip. The third day we were there, he was having problems because he hadn't eaten cheetos for three days. The airport lost his suitcases on the way there. So he went to search a shop where they sold cheetos, but... there are two problems:1. They don't know cheetos on Kashyyyk, 2. something that sounds like cheeto means something very bad in Wookiee. So he was definately gonna get in trouble that day. To make a long story short: the Wookiee Police Department delivered him at my place with the message that he was calling everyone an ********. Seems that he was beaten up by some mad wookiees too!

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Trip to Kashyyyk part 1

Hi everyone! I'm back from my homeplanet, that was one weird trip! First of all, when I and Obi got out of the ship, he thought he was kidnapped by very hairy teletubbies when he saw my family. There went his first impression. My dad asked me if this was normal behaviour for a human. "Not really, but this is a bit of an exception" i answered. So, when we put him asleep with some chloroform, we could move him to my parents' home 'safely'. After some hours, noise began coming out of his room. He was screaming something like: "I never liked the purple one anyway, man, I always hated those damned dudes with tv's in their bellies!!".

We let him scream some more while me and my parents were talking about the stuff i've done on Coruscant. They were very impressed that their son had become a Jedi. But when i was gonna tell them about my adventures, we heard a big bang! I immediately went to Kenobi's room, because if something blows up and he's in the neighbourhood, he's definately in it for something. He had blown himself out of his room and ran away.

I jumped on my old speederbike and followed the trail of cheeto dust to the park. When i found him, he was beating up the bunnies in the park screaming something like: "take that, you damn bunnies!! Get back to teletubbie land! Stop biting me!!". After about 30 minutes, he fell asleep on a bench. Before i left on this trip, i knew that something like this was gonna happen, but it's always funnier when it actually happens! Anyway, i'll tell you what else happened the next time!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Greetings from Kashyyyk

hi, i finally found a pc on this planet. Anyway, i promised you guys a card, so i sent one! Hope that the mailman can read the address, couse writing with claws isn't easy! Bye, see you guys in a few days

Saturday, January 07, 2006


Haha, i am leaving on vacation to my family on Kashyyyk for a week! I'll send you guys a card or something. There is a worse side about this vacation. I have to take Kenobi with me from Yoda. "driving me crazy, he is, get him away from me, you must". So i had no choice or else he would give me one of his infamous force wedgies. Anyway, i'll see you guys after i get back from Kashyyyk, i got to help Kenobi with his suitcases.(wonder what's in there). bye!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

droid invasion part IX

When the annual Jedi Prom took place yesterday, something weird happened. All for sudden, a division of the droid army raided the Jedi Temple. None of the Jedi's had their lightsaber with them couse it's hard dancing with a saber attached to your belt. We all followed the orders of General Grievous and got an the ground with our hands on our backs when i suddenly found my lightsaber in my fur. My fur was useful afterall!

I told Obi that on my sign, he had to shake his beard. I gave him the sign, the droids were blinded by the cheeto dust that came out of his beard. I got up, sliced like 12 droids or something. Yoda had seen Obi's distraction too and made advantage of the situation and jumped to a group of droids and showed us that his kung fu lessons had paid off.

after slicing up some more droids, they retreated (again) and the Jedi temple was saved again, like every other year when the droids attack. So far another droid invasion stopped by my fur. 'Till next year Grievous!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

the oprah show

I got a letter from "The oprah Winfrey show" last saturday. She invites me and my Jedi friends to her show to talk about our lives as Jedis. Mace Windu was very excited because Oprah is his secret idol. the rest of the Jedi's wanted to go to the show too, so a month later, we were at the Oprah show. Here's how it went:

Oprah: welcome everyone to the oprah show! our first guests are Curly, Yoda, Anakin, Obi-wan and Mace Windu!
audience cheers

Oprah: so, whats it like being a jedi for almost 900 years, Yoda?

Yoda: annoying, it is sometimes. Especially when 'some people' leave their undies on the bathroom floor, it is annoying.

Anakin: hey yo, i know that yo mean me, i told you before, it's obi's fault.

Obi: *raises head from bag of cheetos* huh? I heard my name, what's up? I didn't do it!!

Curly: oh no, not again!

Oprah stops the argue and asks her next question

Oprah: so Curly, is it true that you are related to Chewbacca?

Curly: well, actually we are related. he's my half brother, but we never spent much time, because he lives on Kashyyyk and all.

Yoda: Bored I am, Hungry too, I am. The nearest McDonalds, where is?

Mace: Yoda! stop interrupting mrs Winfrey!!! please continue, mrs Winfrey.

Oprah: okay then, Obi, I heard that ...

oprah gets lifted up by her panties by some unknown power

Mace: Yoda, for the last time, STOP THAT!!

Yoda: Sorry, i am. But bored i am and sleepy too.

oprah gets back in her chair and puts her panties back in her pants.

Obi: what? i heard my name again, stop bothering me!!

Oprah: what the hell was that?! this is outrageous!! Security, get them out of here!

security drags Jedi's from stage but get Force Pushed away by Yoda .

Yoda: Run we must!! Chasing us, oprah is!!

Anakin: Here yo, i hotwired this airspeeder! Get in man, fast!!

So we got banned from the Oprah show and we all have a restraining order. We got away with it pretty good, only, in all our hurry, we forgot Obi, but he'll get back here somehow, because his stash of cheetos is here.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

kenobi lost it (again)

Today when i got out of my bed and got into the kitchen, i saw kenobi sitting in a dirty corner covered in yellow dust. I asked what was wrong with him but he kept talking to himself about an 'invasion of the wampa's carrying burning ninja's on their backs' or something. I've seen kenobi like this before a lot of times, but this was a serious cheeto overdose!

Normally, he would stop being weird if i put the tv on and put him on the couch, but this time, even NASCAR didn't get him out of his corner. Then all for sudden he starts running around screaming. I take cover behind a huge pile of empty cheeto bags while he runs to his room. I barely got to chase him when Mace storms into the room...

"what the hell is going on here, curly?".

"Kenobi has lost it again."

"Where is he then?"

"The last time i've seen him, he ran into his room."

"Wait, i know what can make him stop."

"I already tried to put him in front of the tv and that didn't work!"

"What?! Then it MUST be serious, wait, i'll be right back."

Mace runs off and comes back with some really big book...

"What's that, you know kenobi can't read right?"

"Yeah I know, but i'm gonna read him some chapters of my book : you're pretty, I'm pretty!"

"Why would you do that?"

"I don't know, i just feel like it, and by the way, if i read him the chapter about hygene, he might wash himself once in a while."

"Good idea, his cheeto smell keeps me awake sometimes."

Windu starts reading in his book from outside of kenobi's room and stops 4 hours later...

"I think he's back to normal again, curly."

we opened the door of kenobi's room, and when the usual dustcloud disappears, we find kenobi asleep in his closet with headphones on his head with Kelly Clarkson music on.
"yep, that worked, windu"

Windu ran off saying something about appreciation for his books and head and everything was back to "normal" again. So far another average day at the temple.
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